3 Steps to Transform First Meetings

First meetings decide the pace of everything that follows, not because you show more charts but because you learn who is in front of you and why today matters to them. When you get that part right, meeting two is easy to book, the plan feels natural, and the relationship starts on trust rather than pressure.

If you would rather watch than read, there is an Andy and Ermos Show episode on this exact topic- Watch it here.

Why first meetings matter

Most first meetings stall for the same reasons. The conversation stays on the surface, the prospect gives safe answers, and you leave without a clear next step. The fix is deeper discovery. People make money decisions for emotional reasons first and financial reasons second. Your job is to uncover both and connect them to a clear next step.

Step 1: Build real rapport with one great question

Open with a single invitation, then listen.

Try one of these:

• What is on your mind today
• Why are we here, in your words
• If we fast forward one year, what would you want to be true that is not true now

Pick one. Ask it once. Stop talking. Let them answer fully. When they pause, invite more with short prompts like tell me more or what else or how long has that been true. Mirror their language back. If they say overwhelmed, use overwhelmed. If they say stuck, use stuck. Validation builds trust and trust unlocks detail.

Listening tips that actually help

• Record the session if they agree. Deep listening beats multitasking and you can pull exact phrasing later.
• Capture a few exact sentences verbatim. Their words become the spine of your one-page plan and your follow-up.
• Name the emotion lightly. It sounds like the uncertainty is the hard part, not the market itself.

Find the real pain with the Five Whys

Surface answer: I want higher returns.
First why: Why are higher returns important now
Second why: Why does that timeline matter
Third why: Why is that number the number
Fourth why: Why does that outcome matter for your family or future self
Fifth why: Why is this the year to change it

You are not interrogating. You are staying curious. By the third why you usually hear the story behind the money. That is where trust lives.

Step 2: Help them picture a future where you are already helping

You want one clear picture of success that includes you. Ask:

If we fast forward a year, what would make you say working with me was the right decision

Let them paint it. Fewer accounts to juggle. A clear tax plan. Breathing room in the monthly budget. Progress toward that lake house. Whatever they say becomes the targets you anchor to later. Repeat their words back to confirm. So a win looks like fewer moving parts, more visibility on taxes, and a realistic path to the lake house. Anything I missed

If they stay vague, add gentle specifics without breaking the mood. What amount in cash would feel safe. What monthly number would make the budget feel breathable. What date would you love to circle for the mortgage payoff. Every concrete answer has an emotional hook. Keep pulling the thread until you feel it.

Micro-moves that change the room

• Slow your pace. Silence gives permission to think.
• Mirror, do not mimic. Use their words while staying in your voice.
• Affirm lightly. That makes sense given what you handled this year.

Step 3: Leave with one structured next step

End on clarity, not pressure. A first meeting is a win when both of you know the single next step and when it happens.

Here is a simple close:

Thanks for laying this out. Here is what I will do next. I will take what you shared and build a one-page plan that speaks to the three outcomes you want. We will review it together, tighten anything that feels off, and agree on the moves that matter. Does Tuesday at two or Wednesday at ten work better

That is it. One page, one review, one calendar slot. You are not solving everything in meeting one. You are earning momentum.

What goes into the one-page plan preview

• Their words at the top. A short headline in their language, for example less overwhelmed, more control by next summer.
• Three focus areas. For example cash cushion, debt timeline, tax planning. Use their phrasing under each.
• A simple number or two. Not a full model, just enough to show direction and relief.
• A calm note on cost of inaction if relevant. One sentence, for example if we wait a year this likely costs about X.

The recap email that earns meeting two

Subject: Next step and one-page plan

Thank you for today. Here is what I heard in your words:
[three short lines in their language]

I will build a one-page plan that focuses on these outcomes and we will review it together.
I have us down for [day, time]. If that changes, send me a time that is easier.

Short. Clear. It proves you listened and sets a professional tone.

Common pitfalls and easy fixes

Talking more than you listen. Ask one opening question and stay quiet.
Chasing numbers before the story. Run the Five Whys until the real reason shows up.
Leaving without a next step. Always set a one-page plan review on the calendar.
Filling every silence. Count to three after big questions. People think in pauses.

Putting it to work

Run this flow in your very next first meeting. Open with one invitation to talk, stay curious with the Five Whys until the real reason shows up, help them picture a year-from-now win with you in the story, then leave with a single next step and a one-page plan review on the calendar.

Quick checklist for your desk

• One opening question written at the top of your notes
• Three follow-ups you like: “Tell me more,” “What else,” “How long has that been true”
• A year-from-now question ready to go
• Calendar link handy to book the one-page plan review before you leave the call

Close your laptop with a next step scheduled and their words captured. That’s a winning first meeting.